Putting it bluntly I was being an asshole wasting a year and half on counterfeit love.
I sat there dumbfounded by the naked truth that Foo had revealed to my deluded mind. Knowing the truth was always painful but being oblivious about it would tantamount to a perpetual slave to love which would lead us to the pit of nadir eventually.
“Texting only will be quite misleading at times.” Qyng put it bluntly. “You know right?”
“99 percent of relationships will be on the rock when put in your situation.” Foo added.
“Did she have feelings for you in the first place?” Qyng asked.
“I don’t know. I can’t assume that she likes me because for a year and a half is just pure texting, no communication through voice. So, the distrust started to build up, miscommunications become more often, the bond between us is ebbing away.”
“What if she is willing to pick up your call now and rectify this problem?”
My middle finger shot up to the sky. “Too late. I won’t. My body, mind and soul is exhausted by her lock, stock and barrel.”
They were stunned by my gesture of hatred for her.
“Looks like you hate her a lot.” Kin said.
“The hate is there but I wouldn’t let it prominently hinder my life. If she can’t lay bare about her feelings to me and likes the feeling of being loved by someone but sending out wrong signals to me, then I could not accept this because I sensed that I’m being scammed. Plus, I felt the time that I spent chatting with her is wasted at times.”
“You are shivering, Yang. Take the jacket.” Foo handed me her jacket.
“When we are in love with someone, he or she will act as a catalyst to our day-to-day lives. But in this case, I felt the polar opposite because she is wasting my time by becoming an impediment to my process in achieving my abjured ambition in becoming a mathematician because I can’t focus when I’m doing my work when engaging a conversation with her. And most of the conversations with her is mostly about her only, when I tried to open a topic about my problems, she would just turn a blind eye on me.”
“For God’s sake, Yang. Why did you fell in love with her in the first place?” Qyng asked as she scrolled to the convo.
“Ermm… Her passion for ballet. That’s the thing I admired about her.”
“What? Just that? How was her attitude? From the convo, I assume she is a rude one.”
“Something around those lines, the closest person I could compare her with is Penndragon.”
“Ya know… Her mouth is at times…”
“Stop. Just forget about her. She is a goner. Wake up.”
P.S. 11 July 2016
A wake up call (part 2)
Disclaimer: The Wake is the first one. Be ‘hope’-ful for the next one.