“Penndragon… Please don’t kill me…” Anxiety crept into my voice, “I’m about to ask you a very serious question.”
“Don’t worry,” Her face is filled with curiosity, “Just spit it out.”
I took a deep breath, “Do you… remember about the purple mickey mouse key chain?”
“It’s still attached to my camera bag.”
“It was me.”
“Oh!” she screamed, “After so long.”
I chuckled to diminish the stagnant air.
“How could you!?”
“Sorry… Penndragon…” I said apologetically, “Those were the stupid things…”
She looked away to retain her composure. I did not know what to do. Minutes passed, things had somehow settled down.
“Yang, you asshole.”
“I’m really sorry. I was puerile at that time.”
“It was very disgusting when come to think about it.”
“Did you realise that crept the actual shit out of me?”
That felt like a slap right on my face. A pang of nostalgia hit me like a truck and I sat beside her, muted, reminiscing about the distant past.
“Stop calling me that, it sounded so girlish.” frustration tinged her tone.
“Pennnnyyyy…” Pang repeated.
“Penny… Penny…” I called her like a 5-year-old nagging to his parents.
“STOP IT!” she slammed the table and the class was shocked.
We laughed at her because it was fun teasing her name. The trend of calling one’s nickname was popular among the students. Penndragon had her name made fun for a month or so but she was still bothered by people calling her by that nickname. She was my first crush, so I thought this was the way to get closer to her by the laws of reverse psychology.
It did not work as well as I thought, she started to resent me as if I was infectious, I started to realised my impetuous actions were putting me in dire straits. I need to apologise asap.
The next two weeks were the holidays, and my parents were bringing me to Hong Kong. Maybe grab a souvenir and give her an apology letter.
I bought a purple mickey mouse bag tag which I surmised she would like it. I wrote a scandalous letter and put the bag tag into an envelope with the letter. At the foot of the letter I wrote my phone number there, it was the most outrageous thing I had done.
As the school reopened, I slipped the envelope into her bag when everyone was having recess. I murmured a silent prayer under my breath and hoped that everything would not screw up.
Oh my God… I was bewildered to see the purple bag tag dangling from her camera bag on the next day. Euphoria built up in my heart and the feeling it was inexplicable.
“Actually we had you figured out at that time.” I was snapped back to real time. “Me and Girlgod did some investigation.”
“How efficient are you guys…”
“We went to your bag and verified the letter. Those words belonged to you.”
“Haha…” I laughed to hide my stupidity.
“I’m not a dumbass, so save your tricks for someone else.”
Really, I felt like an idiot doing this without cogitating about the consequences.
“By the way… Why did you have a crush on me at the first place?” She asked boldly to cover up her insecurity.
“Errr…” I stammered, “I don’t quite remember though… It was just a hunch and I just had a crush on you….”
“A hunch!? What?”
“Seriously, I did not mean to fall for you… It was beyond my control.”
The feelings for her ebbed away after I gave her the apology because I realised she did not suit me because of her demeanor but we still remained as friends.
Time is the most optimum test for our feelings for somebody, because time will put us on undulated paths of adversities that we must have limitless endurance to keeping the feelings alive. When enduring the test of time, we may find relationships that are worth a life time.
“Haish… Forget it… Just mark that as a stupid thing that we did in the past.”
P.S. August 2016
Fragments of first crush.
P.P.S. This was written based on my fragmentary and blurry memories, hope you guys like it.
For the first part: First Crush (Part 1)
For the second part: First Crush (Part 2)