Disclaimer: This is going to be a very laid-back kind of writing, a lot of informality, and very Malaysian style of writing. This is based on the true stories of Matriculation in Malaysia, so I was thinking to keep it back to the Malaysian slang. The stories are quite messy, but it is just a random compilation of those. Enjoy!

Night time, back at one of the most convenient spot in Kepong to chat, ‘daishutou’ mamak, the most crowded mamak at the vicinity. I reached by 2115, late by a moment, but I did not know who to expect there. I bag packed my laptop, and spotted a few familiar faces- Lua, Leong, Low, and Xuan. I was not the last to reach there, Wong was. And without further ado, we started chatting like it was never before, as if I was shot back in time, sitting round the canteen table in my middle school, talking until the cows come back.

“Lua, how’s matrik?” I broke the ice after I ordered some food, I was starving.

“You won’t believe what I had went through, it is simply amazing!” Lua was vehement as usual, somethings never changed, “Yeah, so I am sent to the Johor matrik, and there is only a fraction of Chinese there, even the Indians outnumbered us, but it is surely a good time there.”

“Now, I realised that Chinese are just shit, selfish, and their attitude makes you want to throw a chair to them, Indians are really united, and Malays are really friendly, super friendly. I have this one roommate, he has gone off to a private uni after I had come here for a few weeks, he is really nice, I mean although he is a very strong muslim, I can chat very well with him, and there was this one time of spot check, I was asleep, he locked my extension in his cupboard, because apparently extension wires, irons, and heaters are prohibited. Imagine the whole block using extensions, short circuit lo.”

“The next morning, I thought my extension was gone, but he told me that he kept it for me, at that instant, my view for Malays changed drastically, most of them are the nice guys, only a few are genuine ambling pedestrians. But, generally, the Malays need the Chinese to help them in their studies, so if you don’t go and be an asshole, they won’t be, and they are very nice people.”

“That’s why I like Malaysia.” I was awed by his experience, “and this guy who left the matrik one, he gave me the green packet and some gifts during Hari Raya, wahseh, I tell you, my mind was blown away about how nice Malays are.” (he did not pause which is why there is no hiatus in between his speech, I was engulfed fully into his experience, and I did not even have time to process and capture his words in my mind)

“You know there’s a Whatsapp group for virtually everything in Matrik, it makes you vomit when you see the groups.”

“Yeah totally agreed.” then I picked up my phone, “I’m really glad that this phone has a total mute function for the Whatsapp group, if not I would be drowned in the sometimes completely useless messages from school.”

“That’s the case, haha, we have a group for our roommates, the current floor that we are staying, the block that we are staying, class groups, Chinese group, assignment group, the ‘single dog association’ group, the boys group, ten fingers and my toes are not enough to count them, that’s why I just leave my phone aside and study most of the time.”

“So, our rooms consist of 3 muslims and 1 non-muslim. My roommates are really good, even during their morning solat, they would just on the table lights, which are bright enough for them to see, and not to disturb me. Damn lucky man, you know most of the other dorms, the non-muslims are waken up by the muslims who full blast their lights at 0530 in the morning.”

“The best thing is, even during the puasa month, they overslept, and I had to call them up instead.” we broke into laughter, “and I have this one roommate who drinks six cans of coffee per day and still be sleepy throughout the day, and there’s this one time, he drank a Redbull and fell asleep in front of me.” What… HAhaahha

“And there’s this guy, damn imba one, he run 5 km per day around the school’s track, like 16 rounds, non-stop, and eats 9 eggs per day, what in the world!” (okay, I will stop with my commentary, I will let him do the talking, my interruption seemed not nice to you readers.)


Craving for more? Down below:
Sebuah Surat Kepada Rakyat Malaysia (A Letter to Malaysians)

Spirit of Excellence
Bangkit Bersama
ATM FLAWED (A Sadistic Torture Case) #Finale