Disclaimer: This is going to be a very laid-back kind of writing, a lot of informality, and very Malaysian style of writing. This is based on the true stories of Matriculation in Malaysia, so I was thinking to keep it back to the Malaysian slang. The stories are quite messy, but it is just a random compilation of those. Enjoy!
“The worst thing about Matrik is the cats, they are like, everywhere. And their shit is also, everywhere. There is one time where the cat shit on in the middle of my slippers.”
“Speaking about cats, there is an Indian guy who tried to commit suicide, he asked his roommate for a knife for him to commit suicide, but his roommate asked him to not do it in the room, and thought he was making a joke. So, the Indian guy drank a cup of detergent, told his roommate about it right after, and he fainted right in front of him.”
“That sparked a berserk throughout both blocks of boys rushing into that location of the fainted Indian guy, and they carried him to the teachers’ block to be sent to the hospital. The worst thing is, they did not see the cat’s shit lying there, it was as big as dog’s shit, the whole group of people thronged the pathway with shit imprinted everywhere, we had to clean everything up because the whole place smelled like a shit pool.”
“Seriously? that guy tried to kill himself?”
“Do I look like I’m telling you a joke? He was forced to come to matrik by his parents, that’s why he couldn’t get over his stress, and he decided to do so. At first, we all feel the pressure, but eventually, humans adapt, then no problemo.” he gave a shrug deliberately, “but whenever we wanted to wash clothes, the people there will offer us a cap of detergent and asked, ‘mau minum tak?'”
“Do you guys have a student council or something around to lines?”
“Yeah, 20 to control 2000.”
“It’s like 1 percent, our school uses 39 to control 500, so efficient.”
“haha, damn. So, it goes like this, there would be a badan like SPR to be chosen first, then only the candidates of the student council (KMJ) will be chosen, somewhat like the general election. The whole damn thing is serious, they had posters everywhere, even the toilets.”
“But, there’s a catch, the candidates of the student council is extremely difficult to be chosen, I put it in plain words, so when suggesting your name, two people must be the witness, and if any of the 2000 students reject you, then bye-bye.”
“Then, I got chosen to be the SPR thing, some random Malay girl whom I converse with in Chinese shouted my name, and be noted, it was a Malay girl some more, not a random Chinese dude. So, after being called, we need to introduce ourselves. The first guy went up there, and randomly say, ‘I’m a student exchange from America.’ then, the second one, ‘I’m a student exchange from Taiwan.’ My God, the third one, ‘I’m the founder of the marathon event in Johor that was organised this year.’ Up until that point, my eyes were rolled to the sky, I just meekly said that I was just a mere school representative. That was a shameful, really shameful. I feel like I could have done better, but…”
“Chill Lua, it’s good that we realise our standings, now come back to think about it, we have not done enough during those younger days, we need to catch up as much as possible.”
“Our sleep schedule is literally screwed up.”
“Some nights, I would just stay up until 3 in the morning, and do homework with my roommate. One of them slept at 4 a.m. every day, he was playing this game, super hyped up game, and the other one would occasionally accompany me to do homework or just binge watch the entire K-drama.”
“And there’s this once, there was someone, who climbed up the roof every night without fail, and he would just stay there most of the times, but sometimes, he just wanted some fun, he crawled from window to window to chat around with people. Then, there is the spot-check, the block shouted to him to come down, he thought it was a joke, then he learned how to spell detention, in bold.”
It was way past midnight, I did not realise, so as Lua, but my friends beside me (we almost forgotten about them.) reminded us about how late it was. We got up, we shook our hands, pat our backs, if I was not mistaken we gave each other a hug. “Lua, it feels good talking to you again.”
“Yeah, same, Form 6 not that bad also mah.”
“Keep up with your studies, Lua. Night!”
“Night!” we part ways, my head was filled with his stories to the brim, he is one of the best story tellers that I am friends with.
P.S. AUG 2017
An unprecedented long chat with Lua.
Thank you Lua for sharing your stories.
I think I would not disclose his identity here, it would very risky.