If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?

I was torn apart by the split of myself, my body still assisted me to be alive just because I could not end it, but something, the split inside me yanked my will to live to an abysmal pit of nadir, I could not handle this anymore, the pressure, the demand, the people, this world.

In the sky of a million stars, my feeble soul flickered, flickered.

Just cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it, isn’t there.

My depression, my career, my relationships; my heart, my soul, my mind, could no longer hold on to the gossamer thread of silver cord of life. I wished that I could trim off or let go of myself, letting the claws of death to engulf me fully. But, there were these minute facets of life that kept me alive, until this very second, the split of myself decided to set up my final stage for me after I had finished recording my swansong, a message to the posterity emanating the pain only I felt.

Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are.

Quicker, quicker. My split self pushed me to the suspended rope from the ceiling. Voices from my life reverberated in my head, attempting to cast out my split self. It was a vicious battle won by my split self, reigning supreme over me, with depression, with the weight of life, with negativity, by breaking me into pieces.

“I’m a big fan of yours! You are such a wonderful person!”

“I’ve been listening to your songs since I was young, I really love your songs!”

“I…” the split self started to speak, commanding, “you think you are really good? I really hate your songs! They are shit! A bloody fuckery for my ears! Just stop what you are doing, spare our ears.”

Stop this, stop all of this, end it.” I had fought this incessant battle with my split self for so long, that I had lost count. My legs moved voluntarily, succumbing to my split self into the rope of death, I marched on top of the stool, sliding my head into the ring in mid air, “Come on! End the pain now!” 

ARGHHH!!! the throes of mine, my final moment in this realm. I kicked the stool away, suffocating myself into the infinite abyss of nothingness. Blurring, dying, lacking of oxygen.

Who cares if one more light goes out?

“We do.” said by us, in unison, when everything was too late.

Crumb

Craving for more? Down below:
A Plan To Kill
Stung
A True Malaysian For Malaysians
Close, But Not Close Enough (Rewritten)
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Sinking Soil

Behind the thoughts of this post : One More Light

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