Three days till my first paper, and I feel, I am fucked. Somehow, I managed to procrastinate until these last few days, and study, and sleep for most of the times. The agony, irony, are the least that I could feel, because it is futile to do anything now, it is just as if using a tea cup of water to put out a wild fire.
I would not be astounded if I had to resit the whole fucking paper again next year, but until then, I would not put down my grit to suffer this shit all over again, I rather finish this shit this time. Sleep or not, I do not care. However, there is this one subject would act as a sleeping pill every time I attempted to study it, Malaysian Studies, it is too uninteresting to study, but I have to put up with it. Thus, I figured out a method to cheat my system, sacrifice the whole day to studying one subject, and yes, it worked to the bare minimum, at least better than not studying it totally.
The other three subjects, especially Maths, would be no sweat. Chemistry is next week, and I had done plenty of exercises, I assume it will go well, if no fuck-ups are involved. Physics, I have good grasp of the concepts, but lack of the doing exercises part, I did not even do a past year question (maybe some here and there, just that I did not realise) right up until now, but I still passed for my trials, just a little more effort in these few days might get things into place. The one subject I feared most is as mentioned above, Malaysian Studies, if I could get a B-, it would be a fucking miracle, really a God-sent.
I just picked out some time for blogging as it releases my mind from whatever shitstorm that is going on inside my brain. This is just a plain venting piece. And during my ‘intense’ study periods, my writings would hit the drain, it would be a very dark place for me to visit because my mind would be blank when I wanted to write in these kinds of situations, that is why this piece is rather a piece about my thoughts for now.
Maybe in the near future, I will train myself to be able to write under any circumstances, taking this as one of my practices. Wish me luck for my exams! Thank you!
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