Facing Abject Submission

Life had not been pretty to me for quite a time, even in the mobile games. I have been playing this 5v5 mobile game- Wang Zhe, similar to League of Legends (LoL). Almost every match in 5 days of a week, I will be teamed up with idiots, away from keyboard (AFK) players, very negative players, and feeders.

To be honest, I am used to it already, but it still frustrates me every single time. I do my best in playing my part of the game, to carry the whole game, and it is eventually impossible if the opposing team knows how to play the game. Turning our team’s chance of winning virtually to zero.

The rule of thumb of this game, is either you are good enough to carry all five including yourself or just suck, the in between just happens so rarely. That is what makes the game so toxic and challenging at the same time, it is to train your mind to reach the peak, turning the game in your favour using the available and deteriorating resources.

It was the sports carnival, I had not seen any of my teammates in futsal. We had not played together before nor met each other. I was sent to the third team due to my absence in the previous training sessions. The third team only consisted of five people including me, no substitutes, we were just the neglected ones.

Two out of five was like poles standing in the middle of the field, barely moved throughout the matches, and I was the goalkeeper for the matches, except for one, and it turned out very bad. 4-1, 4-0, 3-0, 2-0, we lost all the games, I had even lost my dignity in playing as a goalkeeper.

4-1, the first match, I instantly realised two of the players in my team had no will to play at all, they were just standing and left me wide open. I am not a professional goalkeeper, I do make errors, but there were just too many shooting chances and I am bound to be goals to the opposing team.

4-0, the second match, hopefully can draw. But, no. I asked one of those poles to be the goalkeeper. He did not even react to the ball, even though it was rolling into his direction. I was not a pro in playing forward, and they did not believe in me, and thus no balls were passed to me.

3-0, 2-0, fuck it. It was demeaning to even continue playing, but I did my best in goalkeeping. Some mistakes, and I saved quite a number of balls. It was a good training, the margin of error I made in the run was too big, and I know I was not in my top form. Conceded 13 goals, I never played with teammates who were this terrible.

After the matches, the opposing teams recognised me, and even the teacher advisor acknowledged me as a good goalkeeper. I walked away after the matches, stared into my thoughts of how I can improve myself, how to deal with these kind of helpless situations.

My friend who played double in badminton in the sports carnival also faced the same problem, his teammate was similar to my situation. He was vexed, we talked it out after the matches.

How can we, as a part of a failing team, save it?

I ran through millions of possibilities in my head, rendering to nothing. Now I knew why Batman prefer to go solo. Even when I played football with strangers, they had mutual respect for me, and willing to give me chances to screw up or to shine. I could not comprehend why was I in a failing team.

A call to realisation? I think so. I am not good enough, I need to be better.

No matter what.

Even how good am I, if I have shitty teammates and God-like opponents, my team will still lose. How can I deal with these situation? Some help please…

What do you think about the above situation where you are placed in a failing team, and is still wanting to achieve something? How will you deal with this? Leave your comments down below. Thank you!


Craving for more? Down below:
“You Can Do This.”
Zeroed Out
Broken Love
Like A Moth
Inner Battle

Published by zeckrombryan

Hope. Joy. Feelings cloaked as words.

10 thoughts on “Facing Abject Submission

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