I’m lost… Sauntering in the facade of reality, the cloak of nothingness, ain’t I…? Catching, holding my breath as I pushed myself through another routine day. My mind was racing from one thing to another, pacing quicker than I could think, but I felt that I was going nowhere.
The upbeat chill pop, a background noise; the tapping of the keyboard, ticking the tock; the flipping of the black and white pages, a modern orthodox essential commitment; the dissipating limelight of brevity, a pang of dejection; the thoughts in my mind, superfluous, ephemeral, yet encapsulating the minutiae of life- faith.
There was no light, just darkness, a consuming one. I was spinning in circles, trapped in the perennial loop of interrupted cadences and broken chords, indulging in the beautiful mess of a sonata. The twisted yet consistent reality that I was in, was not consistent at all, but filled with banality.
I’m losing… Slowly, life was swallowing me out of my creativity, my faculty of thoughts, my ability to imagine- to conjure the unthinkable inside my head. I’m tired… Wasting away my life to being a slave to unnecessary ecstasies, as fallible as sand castles built on clouds.
I’m… “Just conform.” anxiously, I grabbed hold of my dying soul, my moribund passion, my vanishing will with a gossamer thread of silver cord, hanging on them with my dear life, reluctant of giving in.
Just… “Let go.” Chains started to form around me, wreathing me to the cold hard slab of concrete spelling reality into my forehead. I was kneeling, bowing down to my new master, life.
At the brink of giving up, darting back and forth between the thin line between a relinquished hope and a daunting perseverance.
I cried, I struggled, I shouted.
I slammed my head unto the nonentity, I tried to rip myself apart from the unknown bondage.
But, what lies ahead of me? Everything is dark. There is no way. Even if I get out of this, where should I go? I’m…
“Follow me.” a calm, cool and collected calling from up-high, serenading an uncertain but affirmative orchestra of gestures to guide me.
I will follow you.