The agonizing pain, the hollowness that was bored into my skull as two empty craters, the cacophonous explosions that were deafening, my mind was hay-wired, I could not think straight. Fear was the only element that kicked and kept me alive.
I sprang out of the bed, “MATA SAYA! YA ALLAH!” screaming for my eyes, there was nothing that I could perceive, I was terrified, “MANA MATA SAYA?! PAPA!? SAYA TAKUT!” There was no way that I could tremble in fear, I was shrilling in a Hadean dejection and pure agony.
My father was comforting me, coaxing me that everything was alright, but all I wanted was, “MATA SAYA!? DI MANA?! YA ALLAH!” my shouts tore through the wards of the hospital, right along with the other war-torn victims, I was not the only one, but I could only hear my pain, my terror and my fear.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! aaARARRGHHHHH!!! I struggled with my blindness, kicking the air with no avail, I could not get over the fact that I was blind. I was shrouded deeply in fear and anguish of the loss, cocooned myself from the outside world, blinded by my own blindness.
“PAPA! MANA MATA SAYA!? SAYA TAK NAMPAK! SAYA TAKUT…” consistently, I was calling out for my eyes, for my God, and for my father. Not realising that what was done, is done. I was still wrestling with the stale air, fighting with a superfluous fight. Vengeance did not grew, but fear overwhelmed my system.
The clamour of the war surged my mind, I screamed even louder, in more pain. There was nothing my conscience could do, my instincts was in control every time I was awake, I had fallen into a perennial trance created by myself. My body was quivering violently, until I was tired and deep sleep was my only panacea.
Trauma, agony, sadness were the owners of my body. I was too feeble to fight back or even stand up against them.
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