Driving. Mundane old routine, nothing unusual happening around me, same old tired me, microsleeping and multitasking along the way, typical lackadaisical driver. I was wearied out from my work like any other working days, not expecting anything to conjure in front of me.

A clammy sensation flowed out from my eyes, my ears and my nostrils simultaneously. Instinctively, I rubbed my hand across the affected areas, slimy to the touch, stared blankly into my hand, it was stained with crimson red. Frantic, fear, I managed to continue driving on the busy roads.

Flicking the double lights almost instantaneously, I veered my car to the left-most lane- a contingent lane, slowly decelerate my car to a halt. As I was slowing down, my hand once again rubbed my nose in a helter-skelter manner, it was wet, blood red. My insides were not feeling well.

As I pulled up, I slammed the door open, carried myself to the side of my car, vomiting piles of crimson caked unto the tarred ground. My head was dizzy, almost snapping into half, I got hold of myself, remembered that I had not taken the medication for months now, it had relapsed.

Grabbing myself out of the dreaded position, leaving the metallic taste of blood lingering in my mouth, disgusted. Blurried by the immense pain, I clutched my chest as tight as possible, as if my heart would escape from my body. I opened the door, vision impaired, the multiple headlights zipping pass me, making the situation worse, I ransacked my car for my old medication.

My mind was everywhere, I searched high and low, spitting a few splats of blood on the cushion, unfettered by my consciousness, I simply grabbed a bottle of pills, spilling the whole bottle into my system.

The effect of the medicine was almost immediate, my body made some weird twitches, twisting my limbs wildly, quivering like never before. I held still of myself, laid my back horizontally against the cushions. My head was as if it was being strangled, I was short of breath, I felt like half of myself was in hell.

I got out of the car, slammed myself against the exterior of the car to counter the intense pain inflicted inside me. My innards were stirring, gnashing with each other relentlessly; my head was nearly cracked into pieces, ramming my consciousness with the darkness of pain.

Heaving in a deep breath, my heart stopped for an instance. I forgotten how to breathe.

Gasping for air, I slumped unto the front of the car, leaving my own body to react on its own. Flashes of thoughts coruscated across my mind. Am I…

I got the distressing thought out of my mind, manually taking packs of oxygen into my system, strenuous. Realising that the medicine was not working, my mind steered into the direction of thinking that it was asthma.

Choking in air, I desperately scrambled myself to get the inhaler which was exactly at the same spot as the bottle. My mind was about to shut down, pulling out the last ounce of my willpower, I snatched the inhaler from death itself.

FUUUuuuuu….! Phew… FUUUuuuuu….! Phew…

i’m not dead yet. whatever this is, it recurred. 

Craving for more? Down below:
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Act To Be
Pandang Ke Timur
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Typical Malaysian Family Conversations.
Being at The Top

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