A Letter to Self

To me:

Nearly two years since that day I made that promise to myself- to become a better version of me within three years. One more year left for me to ameliorate the broken me into a winged ranger. 

But, as I stood still, stared at myself. I am stagnant. I thought to myself. If I am not moving, that means I am currently being swept back the advancement of society. In other words, I am moving backwards, degrading, backpedaling. 

This is bad. I thought to myself again. I wasted way too much time on things that could be deemed superfluous for my journey in getting myself vamped up. Somewhere around the first year or so passing in this three-year-plan, I lost myself, I…

I started to blame the whole world around me, whereas the problem lied within me which I had realised not long ago. Procrastinating to the last possible minute, my body loved to do that, a bad habit that is hard to exterminate, to get rid of. 

When I was writing this, my mind was sending biased signals of blaming to everything including me, I was blaming too much, not doing much in return. I, my body wanted to remain where it is- comfort. 

Here I go again, I am going to blame, talk about how my body reacts rather than doing something to handle this situation. I am getting out of hand, I am just a fucking retard. 

Here I go again, I am demeaning myself in the worst way possible. I am…

I do not know what to say already. I am sick and tired of this dreaded comforting lifestyle.

Don’t lie. My body interjected, You love it, don’t you?

I nodded solemnly. I am weak, feeble and defeated. 

“Three years.”

“Do you still remember that?”

Yes.

Yours sincerely,
Yang.

Craving for more? Down below:
Blacked Out
My Journey With Music
I Murdered Myself
The Remains of The Day by Kazuo Ishiguro (Book Review)
Sugar, Fats, And Sitting Too Much
Conquest (July Goals)
Disability Is A Gift.

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Hope. Joy. Feelings cloaked as words.

11 thoughts on “A Letter to Self

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