Routine, as usual- going to school, going to work, stuck in jams, reading the same material, waiting for nothing. I pulled myself out of bed, scrolling through Twitter, watching some Youtube for an hour or so, trapped in the social media feedback loop from hell without having any conscience to break-free whatsoever.
Upon reaching school, teachers mostly were incapable of teaching, wasting my time there. During the drive there, listened to the same old FM, with different content, just to update myself about the happenings around me. In school, it was tedious, it would be better of if I just attended tuition and studied myself or went to work in order to make full use of my time. Otherwise, school acted as a deterrent for me being productive.
After school, wearied, forced to take a nap, wasted more time. School contributed near zero to me, damning me of my own personal time even, I could not express how much I wanted to break from the shackles of this failed system. Remaining only a few hours, it was converted into my time, my only time to be, to do what is beneficial to me.
This had been more than a year now. Not only being trapped in the social media loop, also being strangled by the system, conformity sure is tiring, painful and deadening.
I want to break free from this, laden with chains bound to me, my will dissipates from the core of my soul.
I could not take this anymore, this is an uphill battle, and I am on the losing side, the opposing forces are snowballing to take over me. No, they have already overwhelmed me with vices- activities that waste my time and my life, draining my life at the same time.
I want to be more. I want to get out of this perennial loop. I have learned my lesson- time is very precious.
The invisible, invincible barrier wreathed around me revealed itself to me intermittently, gesturing me to knock it down with my absolute resolution. I want to, but I could not.
Why not? Why?
It is time.
Time is of essence. Time is precious.
I sat silently by my bed, staring at the four walls. After for a long, long wait, I brought this to myself, I need to break free from it. I have learned my lesson, time is precious, I need to set myself free now!
Knowing is a part, doing is the parcel. I can no longer stand myself sitting around, being a slave to social media and doing worthless activities anymore. I brought this to myself, I need to set myself free.
I stood up, for the first time in a year or so, against the barrier that confines me. Standing strong, I wanted to fall back into that comfort zone again. The temptations, my laziness, the couple that urged me to sit down.
No. Not again. This is over.
After more than a year, no more this kind of bullshit.
No more regrets for this choice. No more what ifs for my decisions any more.
Stop. Just stop.
Pressing myself against the barrier, I stumbled and realised there was nothing blocking me all along.
It was me, this whole time.
I was stopping myself.
I need to get up, now.