Starting the day in a routine manner. I walked into my duties with an ordinary heart and a correct attitude. Nothing could stop me doing what I am doing, it was just a rather plain, normal, tasteless day.
As I was carrying out my day job, a thought struck me as I was in action, a small instance of awkward silence. The nothingness of the silence was prominent, deluging my head with all kinds of silence from all directions, I was in oblivion about what was going on, I just left my state of mind as it was, letting the day to pass by as it did for every other day.
The next day, the following day, the next week, the following month, the same old thing kept haunting me, getting more and more extravagant with its nothingness. These times were not mere split seconds, they happened for a full minute more frequently throughout the day, I was struck by nothingness unwillingly.
Pondering, I started to do so at night when darkness replicated the presence of nothingness. Stacking the pillows as high as possible, I let my head to ruminate upon the true meaning of the awkward nothingness.
Is it possible that the nothingness is representing something? Maybe something obvious that I just omitted? My work and life, everything is in balance. Wh…?
A jolt was sent down my body, I felt the ah-ha moment, as if my inquisitive self was satisfied. However, why should I even bother about this when my life is in perfect condition? I mean, I had more than enough for everything.
“Doesn’t that makes your life seem like…. nothing?” My thick skull was difficult to penetrate, I could not take the opinion as it was, I went straight back into sleep and my routine.
Waking up the next day, going back to work. Halfway through, something inside me snapped, the past me knocked furiously unto the doors of my heart, I just could not bear this routine anymore, I wanted to break free of this bondage- the cycle of life.
I threw the resignation letter unto the glossy table top of my boss, went to the airport, bought the next plane to wherever it went. Leaving everything behind, starting anew ahead with nothing.