What is your motivation of waking up the next morning? Answer this and you will be able to cut down on your toxic life style and make the most out of your time. This question hit me right home. I did not have an answer for that, realising that I just woke up for the sake of waking up, for the routine, for nothing.
It has been almost a year that I have been leading this kind of life, an aimless, frivolous life.
I want a change, now.
Dragging the dreaded self into making this decision, I have to give it a go, turning over a new leaf. No wonder during my working days, I had no problem whatsoever in waking up or going to sleep because I had a crystal clear motive to wake up the next morning, to be excited of what the future can hold for me.
After entering the treacherous Form 6 life (tertiary education in Malaysia), I do not blame the syllabus but the school and the teachers themselves (not all of the teachers, of course), I started to veer off into a sedentary life where I slouched around, intoxicating myself with laziness and toxic lifestyles.
The burden of the impending examinations, the lackadaisical thoughts for the odious state of the school, the hatred for certain teachers, all of these are negativity, detrimental to my well-being. I need to think of the good side of the school.
Fuck, there is none.
Perhaps… I should think of the unaccomplished work that I have in store, and what is next if I can ace in my exam. I should think of that stuffs, giving me a morale boost, keeping me alive, at the very least letting me to not suffocate.
I want… I want to be more. Maybe more like Elon Musk, or those people who can get a hold of their life. I need to start working hard, disregarding the fact that school is a murderer of all creativity.
I must move, I must do, I must be, more.