hi…

a week before

you were adamant

for a change

you were hungry

you were desperate

where did all of those go?

you were cleansed

by your tears

you were changed

by you heart

what have you become?

i…

i don…

i don’t know anymore

i doubted

stupid me

i thought,

it was just a thought

they were all fake

all FAKE!

i am lying to myself

constantly

i am just a big fat liar

nothing that i have said

i have kept unto

i just break everything that i have said

every single word

nothing is true

my mouth breeds lies

that i truthfully accept

darkness

nothingness

i am blind

i cannot see

i cannot feel

i am lost

i do not know where i am

i do not know why

i am senseless

i…

“one day, you will not regret.”

i am not giving up

i am simply losing me

oblivious of what i am, still.

aimless as ever

as if i was snatched by the devil

being thrown into a pit

of abysmal confusion

i am just so lost

lost

.

.

.

i do not know where

i do not know purpose

i do not even know me

anymore

God.

help me.

this is the last bit of sanity

my last bit of conscience

seeking You

reaching You

i do not know how long

how much longer

this bit of me

can last.

hopefully.

long enough

to restore, me.

God,

help me.

i…

am…

losing myself…

again…

i do not know

i am…

fading.

returning back to square one.

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