catharsis #4

time

and time

time

is ticking

rushing,

pulsating,

blurry.

the rush is prominent in my veins

how long can it last?

a subjective question

the previous one lasted for a year or so

hopefully this will last for a lifetime

i do not want to spiral into

a cycle of nothingness again.

catharsis

is a form of purging of feelings

diving deep into the depths of my heart

excavating the untold

the invisible

the ugly side of me

i am doing this

is because i believe

through writing

i am able to express myself

more or less in a form of art

i need to make sure

that every gossamer thread

of malignancy

is out of me

completely.

building back from broken blocks

scavenging all that is left

dust, distress, demotivating.

my writings

are at my worst

rock bottom

is never deep enough

i am going beyond rock bottom

hitting the infinite point of

humans’ folly

my attitude

is messed up

my sleep schedule

is messed up

my life

is in a mess

this is a journey

of redefining me

of searching the lost me

of reaching out to me

God.

help me.

plea…

time

and time again

time

is running out

but,
you can still scroll through your phone for memes
you can still watch useless Youtube videos
you can still waste your time on your phone
you can still stare at your phone for four hours per day
you can still rather look at your phone rather doing something productive
you can still look at the ugly reflection of yours through the empty phone screen
you can still aimlessly wander in social media

you said time is running out,
but you take time for granted
how is God going to help you?
if you are not going to help yourself?

what is your logic?
you really think that the skies will fall for you?
who do you think you are?
you are just a mere human
an ordinary shitting machine
that is all
if you still take time for granted,
do not regret
do not blame
do not speak
be ashamed of yourself,
you.

i…

God.

please, help me.

i am just me

give me the strength to pull this off.

Craving for more? Down below:
Catharsis… #3
Lost In Japan (Day 1)
Katharsis #2
Catharsis #1
Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.
Doing Photoshop
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