catharsis #5 ?

my brain, it hurts
i really…
i think i am going back
to square one.

nothing had changed
i am still, me
back to square one.

my conscience, is once again
buried deep
in the depths of nothingness
i could not tell anymore
whether i am still, alive.

silence, darkness, nothingness
confusion
what is happening to me?
i am so curious as to why
am i going back
to square one again.

i wanted to call me out
but nothing came out
nothingness, muted

wondering, pondering
wandering, rendering

*blank*
*blank*
*blank*
the numbing pain
*blank*
i am starting to lose my memories again
*blank*
*blank*

no feelings
no touch
no sight
no nothing.

waves of nothingness, starting to overwhelm
not finding myself
not wanting to

i… *blank*
*blank* me.

emptiness.

.

nothingness.

.

hollow.

.

breathing. i am still breathing
keep on breathing
what is the reason
behind all these?

the night
everlasting

my mind
neverlasting

gasping for air
am i?
am i still?

alive?

“waking up at 4 am”

“winning the first battle of the day
wins you the morale for the day
winning more battles for the day.”

“purpose powers life.”

without purpose

.

.

.

am i still alive?

.

.

.

 

 

what is my purpose

.

.

 

 

?

what

is

happening?

life?

living?

what?

*blank*

Craving for more? Down below:
catharsis #4
Lost In Japan (Day 2)
Catharsis… #3
Lost In Japan (Day 1)
Katharsis #2
Catharsis #1
Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.