jailed
imprisoned
incarcerated in my head
darkness wreathed around me
my heart is still beating
i am still, breathing
i thought i was long gone
but here i am
seated, strangled
my vision is failing me
darkness is all i perceive
coldness is all i felt
loneliness, alone
singular
“how many times i have to go through this?”
the thought struck me
this is my thousandth, perhaps
the millionth time i faced this
and yet, i am still here.
haih
i can’t get out from here
i don’t want to
although this is hurting me
but this makes me feel comfortable
i want to stay here
stationary
torture me
impale me
i am just done with moving
.
.
.
pitch black
darkness
i am going to be destroyed again
living, suffering another cycle
my will to fight back
is dead, long ago
i am numb from all of these
God knows
how long this has been going on
i just live
for the sake of living
i am so done
with me
and the world
my failures
my insecurities
my everything
this twisted reality
screw this
.
i know
i know
i know
i know that this is bad
my body wants out
but deep inside me
tiredness
boredom
satisfaction
the tiny part of me
stopped me from doing so
i know
i definitely know
what is going on
“if you really know
why do you still lock yourself up?”
.
my legs quivered as i got up
the shackles rattled against the cold hard ground
i pushed myself forwards
i do not know where i should go
i just know what i should do
an enigmatic surge of energy
springboard me to life
kicking my way to the front
outstretching my arms to pull myself forwards
i kept persisting
i felt like giving up
but this is the time
where giving up is never going to happen
i have had enough with giving up
i am going to pull this through
even if it cost me my last breath
HAHAHA
WHAT A JOKE!
THIS IS THE MILLIONTH TIME YOU SAID THIS
WHAT A FUCKING JOKE!
the voice is not from outside
it is from within
even i could not look up upon me
i am so low
my heart, my soul, my mind
is in the depths of despair
abysmal abyss of nothingness
what a state that i am in
i turned to look at me
bruises, cuts, burns,
feeble
wearied
i kept going.
going.
.
and going
.
charged forward
reaching the bars
my hands touched the bars
that locked me up for so long
“ok, i have enough fun for the day.”
a hollowed hole bored in front of me,
there is nowhere out
i am going to fall
no. no. no. no. no.
NO!
“bye! this is as far as you go.”
“reset this motherfucking son of a bitch.”
*blank*
.
.
.
Craving for more? Down below:
666 catharsis 666
Lost In Japan (Day 3)
catharsis #5 ?
Lost In Japan (Day 2)
catharsis #4
Catharsis… #3
Lost In Japan (Day 1)
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