painsufferingdespairimpairmythoughtsare
painconfusionnoselfcontrolidonotwantto
thisismyheadmessedupasever
icouldnotthinkstraightthisisthesign
thatiamgoingbacktosquareone
atthispointiamconfusedasever
powerlessuselesssenseless
i am
defeated
once again
congrats…
i am
back to darkness
again
falling
spiraling
wandering
into the darkest
me.
succumbed
given up
i am losing
myself
my grip
the gossamer hope
shimmering
dimming at the horizon
i am one foot away
from my demise
i can…
iamsouselessmylifeismeaninglessitissodark
icantseemyfuturewhatismypurposeagain
whydoihavetogothroughthiswhatdididowrong
myheadisthrobbingwiththoughtsofnothingness
worthlessnessanddepressingsightsofme
darkestmedamnedmeiam
tangled
i am lost
stranded
in my thoughts
destructive
.
silence
.
is what is yearned for
.
enough
.
enough is enough
.
i cannot stand me
.
anymore
.
Drip.
My legs are bounded to the cold hard grounds, I am shackled in the chains from beneath. Stillness and silence hit me like a train, I am still unable to recover from the amnesiac roundelay, shoving me into circles of meaninglessness, unworthiness, worthlessness. I lifted my head slightly, skimming the surroundings in intermittent blinks, my brain could not analyse the surroundings, so as my heart.
thump. thump. thump.
Footsteps were prominent from afar, resounding at the cage of my heart, terrifying. I am confused, depressed, locked up. The menacing vulture figure is closing in, it is consistently shape-shifting, I could not make up the reality that is flashing right by me.
Dumbfounded.
Fear snuck into my system
Ejecting me back into my reverie
What…
am I?
Alive?
I need answers.
I do not want to be locked in again
somehow
this is not my first time
nor my thousandth time
neither my millionth time
i am going through this
my brain is…
playing tricks on me
i am
.
going to
.
lose myself
.
again
if
i do not.
me
God, please help me.
Craving for more? Down below:
re: sense one #11
Lost In Japan (Day 5)
Lost In Japan (Last Day)
re: sense two #12
catharsis nine
catharsis 10
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