a modern desperado

even subtle,

co-existing with your phone.

this is so sad

that i realised this

after so long.

i can do much,

much more

than i could

if i do not have my phone.

it has been a long time

that i did not ask questions

to me.

questions about

visualisations of my future,

declaration of my hopes,

management of my time.

“Does Youtube bring you any benefit?
Why not change that time into managing
the blog instead?
Why not use that time for reading?”

“Does watching Youtube really makes
A difference in you?”

“Does watching Youtube really makes
You a better person?”

NO!

NO!

NO!

I want to change.

I declare that I will not watch Youtube
for entertainment anymore.

I will use Youtube wisely,
Never, ever, for entertainment,
Anymore.

This is difficult.

The temptation,

The habit,

The ritual

of watching Youtube

is deep inside me,

implanted in me.

“What do you want to be?”

I want to be
A person who is able to use my writings
To impact the world.

I want to be
A person who is able to discover formulas
For a better world.

I want to be
A person who is able to run
More than marathons.

I want to be
A person who is able to breathe
a new life into Chinese calligraphy.

I want to be
A person who is able to create,
To change the world for the better.

But first,

I need to be the better person.

I need to be better

I need to be more.

I need to stop wasting time.

I need to stop wasting me.

I must.

How many times you have been through this?

Not many, less than five.
I reckoned.

I have been lost for so long

Give me the time
The chance
to change.

God, help me.

Craving for more? Down below:
re: question #19
re: addicted #18
re: addict #17
Apple Screen Time
re: sense three #16
re: catharsis #15
catharsis interjected #14