it is only
when i am broken,
i discover myself,
how the pieces of mine
came about,
how the brokenness
made me whole
again.
holding my breath,
closed my eyes,
counting my blessings,
listing down my times,
i realised myself
after
i was shattered
into million pieces,
smithereens,
most of them were dust,
some of them were nothingness.
i have lost
a lot
during the tug-of-war
with life
when i was unconscious,
self-made,
destructive.
never have i realised,
i have so much to lose
and have so little to gain,
little did i know,
i lost so much time
because of my foolishness,
because of my shortcomings,
because of my negativity,
because of my denial,
i have lost,
i am broken.
broken.
lost.
defeated.
i admit.
i was broken
i have learned,
i have grown,
i am not going back
into that state
of dejection,
of defeat,
of disgrace.
those small pieces of me
as i re-gathered them
something deep in me
told me to chug them away,
in order to start anew.
i felt the same.
the pieces of me
reflected the worst of me,
projected the wretched me,
giving false hope.
i learn
from picking up
the pieces of mine
broken.
what if
i could rewrite the stars
so that they could be mine.
i can.
i must do so.
recollecting the good pieces,
relearning the bad pieces,
although those shards
can hurt me,
i am fearless
as i am doing this
for myself
to improve myself.
this is a bridge of life
where i must cross
myself
with the help of God.
If i could not even cross this obstacle,
living would bear no meaning
except nothingness.
i have to pass this hurdle
in order to
acquire a greater me.
time is short
and i have wasted
most of my time.
i need to wake up.
God,
.
.
.
I opened my eyes, pried widely into a reality that I avoided for ages. Tiredness, lethargy attempted to knock me back to my reverie. The looming shadow of depression was circling around my head, like a vulture, ready to prey on my feeble soul. Harshness of reality pushed me out of my fetal position, pain grew in me, I was able to feel, again.
Quivering, I got up to my feet, realising that I was still alive. Determination and grit was painted across my face, emblazoned in my very soul. Deluged with darkness, I stood my ground, putting up a fight with the enemies of mine- me.
What are the odds? I thought as I deftly reacted with a coup de grace to my past- a broken, destructive, negative piece of shit.
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