Kill In Peace

It was at the dead of the night where the air around me was anesthetic, I was a little grumpy and wearied as I kept my grandma company for the night. The room was basked in the gleaming stars of the skies, I gazed straight into the moon, hoping that my frustrations from work would dissipate into nothingness, and I could have a peace of mind.

Me and grandma were to only people at home, everybody else went to the hospital to retrieve the belongings of my grandma. I had forgotten how long it had been since I was with grandma. Probably it was when the diffident times that changed our perception of relationships, I started to distant myself away from people whom I loved, even myself.

My grandma was having a terminal cancer, the doctor cited that she was helpless, waiting for death to claim her. I pondered across the times that we had together, the times were simple, simply delicate, nothing fabricated, an unabated kind of love, never too overwhelming, warm enough to get me through the winter.

I sat there, watching my grandma breathing slowly, occasionally I did not notice her breathing which gave me leaps through my heartbeat. The night was not getting any younger, same as her. A resplendent reflection pierced right through my sight, there were beads of tears forming, rolling down her calloused cheeks.

Although her presence in my life was significantly insignificant and insignificantly significant, the bond between us was intelligible, undecipherable, subtle. It was hard to let go but easy to reminisce, simply simple. She was in pain, excruciating pain. My tears wet my cheeks without my realisation. I rubbed off those tears. She did not want us to cry over her, it would make her even sadder, she was the kind of person who feels a lot.

Please…” her lips mouthed, I shook my head, making sure that I was not dreaming. Her tears was incessant, exuding what the grave numbing pain had done to her. She did not deserve this way of departure to heaven. “Help…” she mouthed into my head, telepathically, I could hear her, crystal clear as she was.

Her pain, her feelings, her endurance, were all at their wits end. I could not imagine what she was going through, I wanted to help her end this, but my hands were trembling in fear, contemplating between sins and conscience. My hands were moving at their own accord, a variable quivering through the emptiness of space, the hollowness of meaning.

Shutting my eyes, holding back my tears, I told myself I would not shed a tear in front of her, even though she could not see my cry, she could feel my grievance.

I… I…


Pin drop silence. Our heartbeats were in sync with the brevity of unpaid time from death itself. I was speechless as I felt her serene smile in my heart, as a reminiscent for a future of a greater good.

I wiped away our tears. She was long gone. I took a piece of white cloth to cover up her face as I walked out of the room, phoned my loved ones about her demise.

The moon went silent as it glistened an ephemeral glow upon me, a beckoning of hope, a renewal of life.

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Published by zeckrombryan

Hope. Joy. Feelings cloaked as words.

9 thoughts on “Kill In Peace

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