Catching my breath as I laid my right foot midair, a graceful stance to signify the genesis of a training session. The room was dimly lit with a light bulb hanging singularly in the middle of the room. A gust of wind kissed my cheeks, I sprung to life with a fond feeling in the midst of reality. I knew nothing more than flinging my arms out wide, kicking the steps to breathe new life.

My imaginations wandered into the wilderness where I was dancing in the sporadic white clouds in the sky, bringing my childhood dreams to flight, feeling weightless among the fluffy clouds. I flitted across the blue, blue sky, leaving trails behind me- the distant past.

As I gently landed to green pastures beneath me, I did not stop what I was doing, I kept on dancing till my heart’s content. Weariness did not bother me, but I felt even more energetic, even braver when time passed which was relative to my perspective. A dark figure stuck to the ground caught my eyes, it was imitating my moves, almost too perfect to be the same. It was my shadow, my very own projection from light, a part of me that laid dormant in my sight for so long.

I extended my outstretched hand to the ground, inviting her to join me to a waltz. She gripped my hand with a firm force without any hesitation, it felt natural for this to happen. We exchanged a number of instances that recalled back a deluge of reminiscence and nostalgia, she exuded my previous dance-moves that I outgrown from in the past few years. Looking at her, my reflection to my very past, I realised that how far have I come. It was magical, enigmatic.

Time was revving up its speed, brutally, as the shadow grew bigger than me, having a more perfect body than mine- the hour-glass type, making me feel small when compared to her. The premonition that was in me a second ago became real, beady cold sweat began to form at my forehead, spelling an unwarranted downfall at my side.

Overwhelmed by her towering figure, I wanted to run away, again, like the previous times, just because I had no courage to face the adversaries placed in front of my eyes. I was more than afraid. As my intuition guided me to break for a sprint, the shadow had already engulfed me in her darkness, I had nowhere to go, but to face her, the modified impact that I had to the worlds around me and to myself combined.

However, my strength was insufficient, I was spirally into the eventuality to conform, to dance like any one else, losing my unique identity and voice in dancing. Sadness, grievance, I outplayed myself, I should not have devoted so much to escape banality just to conform back into it so easily. I hated myself for that fact.

Tears rolled down my cheek as I could no longer control my feelings. When the first tear broke out, some of the darkness dissolved into nothingness, and I was dancing in my sadness. More tears came about, I was emanating more of me- my feelings, my emotions, and my courage.

Prying open my eyes after a flood of tears, I saw us, dancing joyfully as we modulated with the beat of time.

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what we talk about when we talk about love by Raymond Carver (Book Review)

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