what is it to write a good piece,
something that is worth reading,
something that is worth looking back to.

wha…

what is this?

my head,
my mind,
my train of thoughts,
hurts.

a lot.

it is a drought in here
i feel it
i live in it

it does not mean much

it is like a shitstorm in here
sometimes
i just lost the compassion
to pen them down anywhere.

it is like a barren land in here
most of the times
i just lost the flow
to bear thoughts in my writing.

it is like a void in here
everytime
i am just lost
with time
with space
with the comfort that i have

nothing feels better than doing nothing

this is bad.

i do not believe this at all, previously.

did i extinguish myself after all the efforts?

why so?

i think i am just not patient enough to make it through
i think i am not trusting time itself.

those who make it,
they…

here

comparison is the thief of joy.

what is the purpose of writing?

is it to create?
is it to generate views?
is it to…?
what?

look at you back then,
heads over tails every single day
just to produce a piece of writing
churning out something every day.

look at you now,
feeling there is no need to do so
anymore.
there is no meaning behind this.
it is like chasing a wild goose,
following a red herring.
slumping around with a phone in your hands,
browsing through contents which are deader
than your creativity.

what’s the point?

why have i become so lazy?

why have i become the very thing
i swore not to become?
a generic human-
being sub-par productive,
stop chasing the little what-ifs,
not wanting to get up,
for no apparent reason.

.

what is your priority?
in life.

after all that spiel,
what is your priority?
right now.

i…
i don’t really know,
i just want to write.

don’t lie to yourself
what is your priority?
be true.

i lost them.

i wanted to write
i wanted to do Maths
i wanted to do write.
that’s all in the past
the dust.

.

do you want them back?

the generic answer.
no.

the innate me
screaming
yes.

i am just fabricating,
lying to myself
about the construct of
my very existence.

just like everyone else.

content and eventually
losing the sense of self.

.

pray

read

believe

take a leap of faith

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