Tap. Tap. Tap. “It is only ten seconds sir.” one of the lab men reported.

“And so?” the chief commander seemed not bothered as he heaved a deep one from his cigarette.

“His train of thoughts is back to normal.”

The chief gently flicked off the ashes onto an aluminium tray, “Nothing special?”

“No information from the chunks that he produced.” the chief propped up his watch and gestured impatience from his demeanor.

“I might need to get myself a cup of coffee for this,” the chief sighed in disbelief, “afterwards.”

“This American is strong.” another lab men spoke, “he withstood this way better than any of our men.”

The technician interjected, “Normally, people will break after a few milliseconds, the longest was 1.14 seconds and this asshole is putting up to the 17th mark.”

“He will break, eventually.”

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The sound of silence was reverberating throughout my heart, I was empty.

I must not think about it.

“God, please bless my very soul so that I can pull this off.”

I must not think about it.

“God, I know I have done many wrong things in my life, and hereby I confess that I have sinned against you, and know no better.”

I must not think about it.

“Please God, let me out of this loop of nothingness. I can’t stand it anymore.”

I must not think about it.

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“Are you there, God?”

I must not think about it.

“I just don’t know anymore.”

I must not think about it

“Lord, help me.” I must not think about it. “Lord, help me.” I must not think about it. “Lord, help me.” I must not think about it. “Lord, help me.” I must not think about it. 

“Lord, help me.”

.

“Please” my voice was filled with abject submission and hopelessness.

The tug of war between sanity and life was still going on. I was in between all the mess that was created. Being pulled against my will, being bent over my limits, and yet I was still persisting.

What’s the purpose? Jus…

My mind was numb to all these responses by the flip-side of my grit at this point in time. I just shut them down instantly I had them every now and then, I grew accustomed to it already after who knows how long. I thought to myself that everything will end soon, but realising that this was my 314th time doing it. I began counting the times I talked after a long pause of silence for no apparent reason, as if this was the only purpose of my life right now, using numbers to keep myself intact although I did lose count for several times.

“The purpose of now is to persevere.” I thought to myself, half-heartedly. My vision went blank and so did everything else.

.

My eyes opened and I was back in the confinement chair stark naked, my heart gladly did a somersault, relief gushed through my veins as I regained my true senses. The red timer in front of me glared back to me with a bright red – 00:30.

“What will happen after Hiroshima?” the distorted voice invaded the silence.

God knows. I grunted and wrestled with a powerless body of mine.

“Very well.” the white walls of the room rumbled with pangs of fear. “Put him back into the trance, bring it up to five years.” NO! FUCK NO YOU FOREIGN MOTHERFUCKER! DON’T PUT ME BACK! FUCK NO! NO!  

“I need some coffee. Look after him.” the intercom fell silent whilst the robotic arm injected the foul fluid into my system. May God bring peace upon my soul. 

Craving for more? Down below:
Solitary Loop (Part 2)
Solitary Loop (Part 1)
take courage
too generic
2.352 Seconds
fear
First 21 KM (NPE Challenge)