It has been a long time since I have written anything or done anything in the creative world. I found myself detached from the world during this lockdown and I was hit hard by it with virtually zero productivity and laziness.

Before proceeding with the post, I would like to give a big shout-out and thank you to the frontliners, essential workers and our Health DG, Dr. Noor Hisham for their unremitting effort in battling with the virus in Malaysia.

Now, a summary of what I have done for the past 60 days. Nothing, absolutely nothing. End of story.

What do I mean by nothing? The lockdown started on 18 March 2020 and I managed to move back with my parents instead of staying in my uni. That was when all productivity became nothing. I spend the first 5 days or so of the lockdown playing mobile games, it was like full-time gaming- 12 hours per day.

Time slowly started became a conceptual nothingness, to put it simply, I lost track of time. My days became a focus of what to eat and what to watch; my week became yesterday, today and tomorrow only. My sleep schedule was also screwed. It was basically a mess.

After week 1, my conscience started to hunt me, I wanted to do something productive so badly. I resulted to having free online classes with my friends, discussing about topics that they do not understand during lectures. Mostly because our lectures were not as good because of the circumstances. Therefore, instead of just lazing around, playing games and browsing social media all day, I picked up teaching once again, covering most of the subjects that were offered by our course.

It was invigorating and also refreshing. I never thought that my teachings are able to help my peers out even with the restrictions given by the circumstances.

Around week 4, I guess, I fasted for 10 days in conjunction with Easter and that would be for another post.

Week 5 and 6 onwards, I was back to indulging in Youtube and social media. I did not realise how addicted I was until time passed by so quickly. Gradually, my guilty conscience started to knock on me and I began to do some Maths, finishing up this semester’s syllabus in a week or two.

After then, I got back into gaming again, this time was worse than the last. I was in it for about 10 days. So, imagine the time that was wasted by me.

But, I picked myself up after then, deleting the social media apps and the mobile game off my phone and focused solely on fixing my life in general. This is the first step in my countless attempts to do so.

And here it is, after 60 days of zero productivity and full procrastination and laziness. I am adamant to change this shit. My head is filled with excuses which consists of being at home is too comfortable to move my ass to get some work done, being at home is too awkward to shoot Youtube videos as too much jeering and distractions will be dawned upon me (you will know if you are born in an Asian family), being at home means being lazy and relaxing.

I need to get these thoughts out of my head. They are distracting and a waste of my time.

We are just humans, at most average. If we make such kind of wasteful mistakes, I think it’s better late than never to fix myself. Although it has been more than 60 days, I want to make changes to my current lifestyle and make it more productive.

I have several projects in my head but I just procrastinate too much to make them into reality.

Hopefully your lockdowns did not go as wasted as mine. If you have any helpful tips on how to spend time more productively do drop them down in the comments below. Or if you want to talk about how your lockdown went, you can just comment down below.

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